Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships by Chip Ingram

Author:Chip Ingram [Ingram, Chip]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, pdf
Tags: FAM029000, REL012000, Interpersonal relations—Religious aspects—Christianity, Man-woman relationships—Religious aspects—Christianity, Love—Religious aspects—Christianity, Sex—Religious aspects—Christianity
ISBN: 9781441222442
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2014-11-07T05:00:00+00:00

What Did Paul Say about Sex?

In Ephesians 5:3–4 the apostle Paul gives us a picture of the negative results that occur when we fail to “walk in love” or to understand the difference between love and sex.

Immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. (NASB)

The command at the beginning of the verses above covers all our relationships. We are to refuse to take, exploit, cheapen, defraud, or substitute sexual activity for genuine love and authentic intimacy. In order to understand this paradigm, we’ve got to remember that sex is not wrong and God is no prude. Sex is not a sin to be avoided but a gift to be cherished.

You and I want genuine intimacy. We want to have relationships that matter. We long for someone to feel deeply loved because of us. We also want to be loved and cherished and cared for by someone else. We’ve already seen that the way to this goal involves “walking in love.” Now it’s time to see what not walking in love looks like. In the verses above, Paul says certain things will squelch and destroy love and break relationships. These are crucial warnings. If we are going to love somebody, we will not take, exploit, or cheapen him or her. We will not engage in sexual activity to create pseudointimacy that’s false because we don’t really care and we’re not really committed. We won’t substitute sex for authentic intimacy.

Certain words in theses verses deserve further attention: immorality, impurity, and greed. The first word comes from the Greek word porneia, from which we get the word pornography. Porneia refers to any sexual indulgence outside the permanent relationship of marriage. It’s trying to fulfill your sexual appetite in such a way that the entire focus is on your pleasure rather than concern for the other person. The word immorality describes a broad range of behavior outside the bounds of God’s command to “walk in love.” On one hand, this term is used to declare that adultery is outside the bounds of walking in love. On the other hand, the word is used to tell those who are unmarried that sex before marriage is beyond the bounds. It means that if you’re married and have sex with someone other than your partner, it’s outside the bounds. Porneia covers homosexuality and all sexual activity that isn’t one woman, one man, inside the bounds of marriage, and warns us: Don’t go there. Why? Not because it doesn’t seem fun or exciting but because it’s unloving and in direct violation of God’s good prescription for healthy relationships. It won’t deliver what it advertises.

The next word, impurity, means any indulgence of sex at the cost of someone else. It describes sexual behavior that defrauds, uses, or manipulates another person. Impurity refers to sexual attitudes that withhold dignity and respect for other people.

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